


Hazy Mornings

by darwinsdonut



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Recreational Drug Use, charles the king charles spaniel, elizabeth the corgi, floofy, set in wyoming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 16:32:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14217210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darwinsdonut/pseuds/darwinsdonut
Summary: Reginald is walking his dogs when he finds the most beautiful man he's ever seen, dying of hypothermia- only to find out after attempting to save the stranger's life that the stranger was just a-okay.





	Hazy Mornings

If there was anything Reginald loved more than fencing, it was a perfect, half-sunny misty morning, the kind that sliced sunlight through the tall green firs and blanketed the world in silver fog. It was the exact kind of morning one could wake up, drink a cuppa, grab the dogs, and go for a walk. 

And that is precisely what Reginald did. 

The Wyoming forests encroached his backyard, and Reginald had found many a trail among the winding trees. Perfect for walking his dogs, a little corgi he’d named Elizabeth (long live the Queen), and a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named, well, Charles. They loved the early morning, and he’d give them just a little leeway on their leash to go sniff about the foliage and hidden rodent trails. Reginald relished in the glory of the landscape; Wyoming was mostly flatlands, but he’d managed to find a house with a forest at the base of the mountains, with a convenient lake nearby. He simply adored it. 

Charles and Elizabeth trotted along the path, stopping now and then to wet their noses on the glossy leaf of a holly bush, or investigate faint scents among the base of the firs. Reginald walked along behind them, enjoying the crispy morning air behind his multitude of scarves, thick black mustache warming his upper lip. The dogs were snug in their sweaters, and it was a good morning as the sun breached the treetops and sent yellow shafts of light across the green dawn. 

Then Charles barked at something off in the trees. 

Reginald felt a prickle along his spine; he was well aware of the wildlife native to Wyoming- elk, bears, wolves, lions, all kinds of deadly creatures. Perhaps it was just a rabbit? A harmless, skittish little rabbit that would hop along to its burrow and hide from his dangerous predatory canine companions. Yes, that must be- 

Charles barked again, and Elizabeth sniffed the breeze and joined. They were downwind, and Reginald nudged Charles with his foot. “Hush, pup! You’ll alert them to our location!” 

Whatever it was couldn’t have smelled them yet, but the dogs’ now-rambunctious barking and yanking on the leash would draw any predator in a five mile radius to them. The shrill yaps cut across the dawn and, for the first time in his life, Reginald wished he’d gotten some larger creature for a walking companion, some kind of bulldog or Great Dane or something. Reginald took a deep breath. He didn’t see anything through the trees, and the foliage wasn’t thick enough to conceal anything larger than a rodent. Perhaps it was a rabb- 

Then he spotted it. 

Twenty yards away, the end of a pant-leg, shoe poking out of the end. It seemed someone was slouched against a tree next to a holly bush, asleep or- well, Reginald didn’t want to think the alternative. 

“Oh, God help us,” Reginald whispered. He certainly didn’t want to be the man who found a corpse while walking his dog. 

The morning was chilly but livable, but as he approached the shoe he remembered the temperature had dropped below zero degrees Celsius last night- wait, this is America, thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit- and knew hypothermia could set in quickly. His own heart pounded in expectation of what would be around the tree, and he stepped forward with caution as he willed his cardiovascular system to calm itself. 

He rounded the bush, and his eyes landed on possibly the most beautiful man Reginald had ever seen- and he’d seen some beautiful men. 

The man was asleep, and Reginald was relieved to see the broad chest rise and fall with breathing. He wore only a sleeveless Pink Floyd t-shirt, a blue plaid flannel around his waist, and jeans. No shoes. His hair was dreaded and pulled into a bun, withdrawn from a clear, broad-cheeked, thick-lipped umber face. He had a surprisingly Greek nose, but it fit with his features. And yet the rich hickory lips seemed to have a gray hue to them, and the man’s folded fingers were definitely a little more red than they should be. 

Charles and Elizabeth sniffed around the stranger. This man was clearly dying of hypothermia, and Reginald, a man of intelligence and nobility, couldn’t simply leave him there. Reginald looked at his dogs. 

“Charles, Elizabeth? You’ll have to follow me, as I won’t have hands available to hold your leashes. Understand?” 

They wagged their tails and nosed around the dying man. 

“Alright, here goes,” Reginald said, and reached down and untethered their leashes. 

Immediately, both creatures tore off at full speed into the trees. 

“Bloody hell!” 

Reginald spent the next twenty minutes rounding up both dogs, and then reattaching their leashes and using his scarves to attach the leashes to his belt loops. As the dogs yanked at his trousers, exhilarated from their run, Reginald went through the heavy ordeal of lifting the stranger into his arms. The four started back for Reginald’s cabin. 

It took a half hour to complete the fifteen minute walk, as Reginald had to snap at his dogs each time one of them took off the other way. Reginald’s strength was dedicated to holding up the stranger in his arms, and he didn’t have much extra energy to fight an enthusiastic corgi. By the time they reached his house, he was exhausted, and it was only eight in the morning. 

Reginald kicked off his boots outside the door, unable to take them off as neatly as he wished, and then fumbled for the knob and opened the door, almost dropping the stranger. He brought him inside and set him on the couch, immediately covering him in a blanket. With the man taken care of, Reginald freed the dogs to roam the house, and then went to the kitchen. He started a kettle and then found his ginger-scented candle; the aromatherapy should help rouse the stranger. 

Reginald flipped through his wilderness survival guide, but the part on hypothermia would only be helpful if he were stranded on a mountaintop. He returned to the stranger and checked him, finding his clothes dry and skin warming. The stranger seemed content in his sleep, and Reginald knew passing out while hypothermic was extremely dangerous. It was usually a sign of near-death, if he recalled correctly. The first inklings of panic stirred as Reginald wrapped his own scarves around the stranger and then checked his pulse. 

To his surprise, as he checked the stranger’s pulse, a hand grabbed his wrist. 

Reginald looked up. The stranger was awake. 

“Well, hello there,” the stranger said. “Might I just say your home smells lovely? And that is a highly impressive mustache. How long did that take to grow?” 

Reginald stared for a moment, absolutely baffled. “I- I’ve had it since I was a boy. Ripe age of fourteen it started growing.” 

“It’s quite a ‘stache. Now, if it doesn’t bother you one doodly bit, could you find it in your heart to tell me just where on this sunny earth I am this morning?” 

Reginald… Hadn’t expected the man to react quite like this. He’d thought the lack of shoes and the flannel around his waist had been the result of hypothermic reactions, his body convincing brain that he was actually too heated, as was apt to happen in such cases. Now he wondered what the reality was, and whether he’d made a mistake in picking up a random stranger in the forest to bring back here. No, it couldn’t have been a mistake- it was the honorable thing to do! 

“I found you in the woods near my backyard, asleep against a tree,” Reginald said. “I’d thought you were dying of hypothermia.” 

The stranger laughed. “How incredible! It’s very rare to find a person so inclined toward good deeds. Well, thank you very, very much for your attempt to rescue me.” 

To say Reginald was ruffled would be an understatement, though he did his best to conceal that fact. “Attempt? I just carried you all the way back to my home with two dogs strapped to my belt! Charles and Elizabeth nearly dragged my trousers to my ankles!” 

The dogs came at their name and the stranger smiled at the sight of them. “You have dogs? What a splendid fellow to save a stranger from the middle of the woods, and rescue dogs from a life of potential squalor and uneven love dynamics.” 

Charles sat pretty in front of the stranger while Elizabeth shuffled back and forth sniffing his bare feet. Reginald now saw the mud coating the stranger’s feet, specks of it spilled onto his rug, and felt his chest seize with sudden spite. _What a splendid fellow,_ the stranger had said of Reginald. Well, what an _unrefined_ fellow the stranger was proving! A compliment on Reginald’s glorious masterpiece of facial hair didn’t forgive the man of his sins, and one question remained lodged in the forefront of Reginald’s busy mind. 

“If you weren’t dying of hypothermia, what were you doing in the forest asleep with no shoes!? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?” 

“Nature offers resplendent meditative qualities that no artificial dwelling can offer,” the stranger said, in his calm tone, words that rose and fell like ocean waves. Reginald hated him. “I prefer to enjoy my recreational substances outdoors, to really feel the energies and clear my mind. It is scientifically proven that taking time to sit outside and-” 

_“What are you babbling about!?”_ Reginald snapped. “Recreational substances! Are you telling me I provided an honorable service in attempt to save your life because you- you were _high!?”_

Reginald couldn’t believe his ears. He couldn’t believe this half-witted ruffian! What kind of a man wandered off into the forest while under the influence of _drugs_ without even shoes or a coat! Did he have a death wish or simply not care? 

“I find herbal medicines can be most helpful in relieving tension,” the stranger said with mischievous eyes. “Perhaps you should try them, sometime.” 

_Did he just- oh, no._ Reginald pointed at the door. “Please, sir, I must request you leave my home. Now.” 

“I’m sorry, sir, I would be happy to oblige your request, but my feet are still rather numb,” he said, smiling pleasantly at Reginald. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for a moment.” 

His feet- Reginald suppresed a groan. He forced himself not to stomp as he journeyed down the hall and found a pair of his own socks, grumbling all the while about the unforgivable hippie on his couch. _What kind of a man-_

Elizabeth stopped Reginald at the door, staring up at him with bright eyes, and he frowned at the dog. “What is it now, Lizzy? Have you a problem with our guest?” 

Her response was to yip and toddle down the hall. Reginald followed, and then watched as his traitorous pet hopped into the stranger’s lap. Reginald’s blood pressure rose. 

“Lizzy! Off the couch!” 

She yipped at him, sitting on the stranger still. The stranger chuckled and ran his hand down her back. “What a pretty corgi!” The stranger looked up at Reginald with that same pleasant smile curving his broad cheeks. “In Welsh folklore, corgis actually pulled chariots ridden by fairies. They were greatly revered at one point, and it shows in their intelligence and kind hearts today.” 

Reginald sat down in an armchair with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. He tried to even his breathing and lower his blood pressure. Before he could make much progress, however, the kettle whistled. Reginald removed his hand from his face and sent a glare to his traitor dog, and she frowned at him with big brown eyes and then licked the stranger’s face. 

“Do you like tea, sir?” Reginald asked, resigned, as he passed the stranger his socks. 

“Oh, absolutely! A cup of tea a day has _many_ proven benefits.” 

“Of course it does,” Reginald muttered, entering the kitchen. He’d set out cups earlier, and now poured the steaming water in. He missed his automatic tea kettle; London was certainly far away from these awful American states. Reginald placed a teabag for Earl Grey in his own mug, and then peppermint for the stranger. 

He brought the mugs into the living room and set them on the coffee table to let them steep. The stranger looked up at Reginald. “I’m sorry, I’m wearing your socks and haven’t even introduced myself! I must seem entirely uncouth. I’m Butch Flowers and pleased as punch to meet you.” 

Reginald sighed. “And I’m James Reginald. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” 

“Want to hear a knock-knock joke?” 

Reginald met Flowers’ eyes, seeing for the first time the shining dark orbs, the color of black tea. For the first time since Flowers woke, Reginald remembered why he’d brought him here. 

“Of- of course. Always.” 

Flowers smiled bright at him. “Knock-knock.” 

“Who’s there?” 

Flowers’ toes wriggled. “Socks.” 

Reginald tried to suppress his anticipation. “Socks who?” 

“Socks we couldn’t have met under better circumstances, but maybe I could take you out for tea sometime?” 

Reginald gaped. A knock-knock joke, good pun, and invitation to tea _all in one punchline._ Oh, great Scott, is this what love felt like!? Reginald sat back, cheeks blooming as he hid his contained smile behind a hand, trying to find a decent reply. 

“I know this wonderful little bubble tea cafe,” Flowers continued. “Wonderful aesthetics, open and airy, tea has just the right tanginess-” 

“Yes. Please, God, yes, as soon as you’d like.” 

Flowers laughed. “Well, that is just _delightful!_ Perhaps we can talk about some healthy coping mechanisms for stress, and I _think_ if we walk back along that trail in the woods we just might find my shoes.” 

What a ruffian. 

What an absolute baffoon. 

What an absolutely uncouth, uncivilized, undignified hippie. 

Reginald sensed the beginning of the most wonderful relationship of his life. 

Even the dogs liked him.


End file.
